Epic Rap Battles Of History

Michael Jackson VS Elvis Presley

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Young michael jackson:

Oooh elvis presley as i live and breath
You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese
You dance like an epileptic
Nothing but left feet
I've seen every record you set, man i beat it
Here's a tip, don't swallow a bucket of drugs
So you won't die on the toilet dropping hunks of burning love
I'm bad
I'm a smooth criminal
Better face up
Call me ed sullivan, shoot you from the waist up
Watch me moonwalk
And i step on your blue suede
Even in death i go platinum on blu-ray
Spitting out hits since i was six years old
I'm the king of pop, you're the king of jelly rolls

Young elvis presley:

Well i died on the shitter but i don't give a crap
You ain't got half the badass battle raps that i have
I got one for your monkey and two for your clothes
Three for your family and four for your nose
You better surrender talkin' bout them abc's
Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the birds and the bees
This is the big time, jacko
No, dress rehearsal
I'll light you up like your hair in a pepsi commercial
I can tell you're angry, but i can't comprehend it
I stole from black culture why are you offended?
Your daddy beat gold records out of you, like alchemy
Don't make me spank you and dangle your ass over a balcony

Adult michael jackson:

Ohhh
It's about time for a thriller
Didn't lose any chocolate, i just added vanilla
I'm going off the wall
I won't stop 'til i get enough
Whooping your big fat ass with my shiny glove
How you gonna talk about the birds and the bees
When you met your own wife when she was only 14
Then you made one daughter; she came to me
I took her to my neverland ranch to hee-hee
You shoulda stayed in the army dude
Shamone, even tito looks better than you
I'm singing aaaahhhhhh
You're singing don't be cruel
There's only one crown baby let the one king rule


Old elvis presley:

You're a creeper dude
You like to grab your own wanger
I only let you marry my daughter cause i knew you'd never bang her
You think you're tough?
Man, you look like tootie
I was badder then you in my blue hawaii movie
You lost your damn mind
That's why they cast you in the wiz
You're like a sad white woman
Who never got to be a kid
I'm out
Before you try to hold me and free your willy
Later weirdo, elvis is leaving the building

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