My New Philosophy

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Sally: Oh yeah? That's what you think!

Schroeder: What?

Sally: That's my new philosophy. Oh yeah? That's what you think!

Schroeder: Well, why are you telling me?

Sally: What?

Schroeder: WHY are you telling me?

Sally: Why are you telling me… I like it! That's a good philosophy. Why are you telling me? WHY are you telling me?


Sally: Why are you telling me: my new philosophy. The teacher gave a D on last week's homework! She said, "Miss Sally Brown, your grades are goin' down." I should have told her-

Schroeder: Your new philosophy?

Sally: My new philosophy.
*imitates teacher* "Miss B?"
I'm she.
"Look, see."
A D?
A D.

Well, why are you telling me? And that's my new philosophy!

Schroeder: That's your new philosophy?

Sally: Why are you telling me- my new philosophy!


Schroeder: That's great, Sally, but I've gotta go practice Chopin's Nocturn in B flat minor…

Sally: No! I like it! No! That's a good philosophy… No! No! No!

Schroeder: That's your new philosophy, huh?

Sally: Yes! *gasps* I mean, no!
Just like a busy bee, each new philosophy can fly from tree to tree and keep me moving. When Life's a dizzy maze on alternating days I choose a different phrase!

Schroeder: Your new philosophy.

Sally: My new philosophy.

Schroeder: Sally! Some philosophies are simple: "Man does not live by bread alone." Some philosophies are clear:

Sally: "Leave your massage at the sound of the tone"?

Both: Some philosophies pick and choose deciding what goes in, and

Schroeder: Some take a lifetime!

Sally: Mine take a minute!


Schroeder: But Sally, anything that takes only a minute can't be very lasting! For instance, Beethoven took over two years to complete his brilliant Ninth Symphony.

Sally: No!

Schroeder: I can't stand it!

Sally: *In whiney voice

Autor(es): Andrew Lippa

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