Smoke Signals

Melissa Mcclelland

I'm sending you smoke signals
Through the fog and the haze
I'm hoping that you'll notice
And differentiate
Between my nicotene clouds
And the others floating about

Now I'm arguing with the shadows
So persistently willing to lurk
Just as I'm trying to decipher
Whether your smile's a grin or a smirk

And through this whispering wall
There's another that won't speak at all

But somehow I know you're considering this
By the end of the night we will kiss our first kiss
After several fine weeks of incredible bliss
You will tell me the words that a girl can't resist
And I'm burning at this end of a dream

I'm looking beyond shoulders
And peeking between heads
I'm thinking of approaching
But I sit and watch you instead

And now that I've caught your eye
I'm anticipating your reply

But I know that games like this have a price
Five years down the road won't be playing so nice
As we suffer the ills of another cold night
Two years of marriage, two years of my life
And I'm burning at this end of a dream

Now you're sending me smoke signals
Through the fog and the haze
But I barely notice
As I turn and walk away

And through the nicotene clouds
I imagine you fading out

'Cause we'll fight and we'll bitch
And we'll mess up the kids
Who will ruin their lives
From the love you won't give
And I'll feel so trapped
In these walls of our home
But I'm so fucking scared
Of dying alone
And I'm burning at this end of a dream

Oh I'm burning out this end of a dream
So watch me explode as I blow off some steam
Cause you know in the end I will know what you mean
But now I'd rather die than make believe

So i'm burning out this end of a dream