You Had Too Much to Drink
[P] Aiyyo whassup E man?
[E] Yo coolin PMD
[P] True true man, I just been lampin man
[P] So what you been up to lately man?
[E] Just been loungin man, knowhatI'msayin?
[P] True true man, yo man, who's your boy over there man?
[E] Oh that's my man from out of town
[P] Oh word man? Yo whassup man? My name is P man
[B] How you doin man? My name is Frankie Anto man
[B] But my friends, they call me Frank B
[P] Oh word man? Nice to meet you man
[P] So yo man E, what you gettin into tonight man?
[E] Yo P man I'm bout to flex downtown to this club
[P] Word man? Yo man, that sounds cool man
[P] I think I'm with that man - yo you wan' do that?
[E] Let's do this man
[P] Aight bet man
[B] Yo, yo hold up wait a minute guys man
[B] You guys mind if I go witchu to this club man?
[P] Ahah aiyyo man E I don't know about that man
[P] Last time we took somebody with us man
[P] we had to carry him home man, he got out of control
[P] The whole nine yars, yaknowhatI'msayin man?
[B] Nah man, that's not me man, I can handle my liquor man
[B] I just go to have a good time and DANCE man
[B] Drinkin is no problem to me, stuff tastes like fruit punch
[P] Are you sure man?
[B] Positive man -- positively positive
[P] Aight man, l-let's take him then
[E] We went out that night
[P] To a club downtown
[E] That was very high class
[P] And had boomin sounds
[E] We went in
[P] And we were dressed to impress
[E] Fly women and girlies
[P] Lookin their very best
[E] We took a seat at the bar
[P] Feelin brand new
[E] Frank ordered drinks, no liquor
[P] Just plain old brew
[E] He finished it
[P] Then he ordered one more
[E] And another
[P] And another
[E] And that made four
[P] He seen this fly girlie
[E] Suave and deboinaire
[P] Light skinned complexion
[E] With long black hair
[P] But this girl was ug-ly
[E] I mean her body was through
[P] But after four drinks or more
[E] She looked like Paula Abdul
You know what baby? You startin to look good
You startin to look REAL good
You startin to remind me of that superstar - Paula Abdul
[P] The party was over
[E] It was time to go
[P] You insisted on drivin
[E] When we said no
Nah guys, y'know? I can drive myself home man
That ain't gonna be no problem
I drive better when I feel nice (P: Are you sure man?)
Are you kidding me man?
That stuff in there, that stuff in there taste like fruit punch
I could drink that all night
[E] So you got in your car
[P] Swervin on the road
[E] There was a cop in the bushes
[P] On radar patrol
[E] The light turned green
[P] And you decided to stop
[E] It turned red
[P] You took off
[E] And got pulled over by a cop
[P] You overdid it homes
[E] You had too much to drink
[police siren sound]
[Frank B, Parrish Smith as the cop]
Ah excuse me, can I see your license and registration please?
I don't have my license registration right NOW
But if you give me a chance, I can go home and get it
Oh what are you a wiseguy son?
No I don't mean to be a wiseguy officer
The honest truth, what really happened is
I just came from a plane from Dominican Republic
By the time I got to Motor Vehicle, Motor Vehicle was closed
Oh it was closed?
Yeah it was closed
Oh what's your name son?
My name is Frankie Nato, but my friends, they call me Frank B
How bout you officer - whatchu call yourself?
Oh this guy's a real wiseguy
Who's the young lady in the passenger seat?
You don't know who that is? That's a superstar
Paula Abdul, say hi Paula
Oh yeah that's Paula Abdul?
Have you been drinkin son?
Oh no I don't drink man, the only thing I drink is fruit punch
OK son you wanna turn your car off
and leave the keys in the ignition and come with me please?
Where we goin officer?
I want you to come sit in the backseat
and blow in this tube for me please
Wait a minute, I ain't no faggot
I never blow anything in my life, and don't plan to
How bout you officer - you blowin anything?
Just blow into the tube son
Okay okay man [blows into the tube]
Oh what's this man? Two point oh?
Oh Guns'n'Roses dude!
You might as well get ?
cause you goin downtown sonny, you're drunk!
So whatchu tryin to tell me officer?
You tryin to tell me that that machine, tell me I'm drunk man?
Somethin wrong with that machine
That machine need a good fixin man
That's what I think officer
No you know what I think son?
I think you need a good lawyer
Let me tell you officer, I have a lawyer
My lawyer is so good, SO SO good
And by the time he's finished witchu, you gonna be workin in Alaska
So dress warm, as a matter of fact
I suggest you go out and buy yourself a sheepdog
Cause it gets BITTERLY cold out there
[E] Have you ever been coolin
[P] On a Friday night
[E] Wit your friends gettin wasted
[P] Just feelin nice
[P] You continued to drink
[E] When you know you should stop
[P] The next thing you know
[E] You're behind is caught
[P] Your body gets numb
[E] So you slow up the pace
[P] Your mouth gets watery
[E] And you can't feel your face
[P] You finally make it home
[E] And the fun begins
[P] You try to pass out
[E] But here comes the spins
[P] So you turn and toss
[E] Then you toss and turn
[P] Your head gets light
[E] And your chest starts to burn
[P] So you lay on your stomach
[E] And you tuck in your chin
[P] Pail by your bedside
[E] Now the breathing begins
Oh, oh God, just let me get through this last one
If you let me make it
If you let me make it through the night God
I promise I'll never have another drink again
I'll never drink again, as long as I live
[pukes several times]
You overdid it
Hey yo this is EPMD tellin you not to drink and drive
Cause ain't nuttin cool about chillin in a coffin six feet under
Yo, this is Frank B
And learn from others mistakes homes!
And don't let peer pressure get to you
Cause it costs you, or your life, or somebody else's life
in the long run
And it's like that
And if you don't believe you can get the bozack