Slow Motion Man

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I saw your picture in a pointless magazine
You wear your weapons well
You've got a future as a killing machine
As far as I can tell

I'm sure your driver does the best he can
He does whatever it takes
But I, I put my money on Slow Motion Man
Because he never puts on the brakes

And it's all part of the plan
When you hire Slow Motion Man
Can he devise your lesson plan?
Why, yes, he can
And it takes such a long time
To arrive home when he drives
And he drives so slow
You slowly go mad

And if you're looking for the naughtiest mistletoe
I know just what it takes
Sign this disclaimer just before you go
Because I make mistakes

I cannot save you from drowning in jealousy
If you refuse to believe
What's in your heart is a fallacy
What's in your mind can never leave

And it's the products from Japan
That are confounding Slow Motion Man
And he strives to make your wishes
His command
But it takes six to eight weeks
To get closer when he speaks
And he speaks in a voice
That drives you mad

And I could see you from my perch on highest tree
You hid the feelings and felts
And you forsook me for idolatry
Before I could even take off my belt
And now the weather has turned a few degrees
And we must part for the year
Please don't expect me to remember memories
I leave them all right here

And it's the meals from a can
Giving life to Slow Motion Man
As he sends directions
To an endless caravan
And dies such a long death
They will enshrine his final breath
And he breathes so heavy
It makes you bleed

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