The Lonely Island

Threw It On The Ground


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I was walking through the city streets
And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink
Run faster, jump higher
Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground
You must think I'm a joke
I ain't gonna be a part of this system
Man, pump that garbage into another man's veins.

I go to my favorite hot dog stand
And the dude says "you come here all the time,"
"Here's one for free"
I said "man, what I look like? A charity case?!"

I took it and I threw it on the ground
I don't need your handouts
I'm an adult, please
You can't buy me, hot dog man

At the farmers market with my so-called girlfriend
She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad
Man, this ain't my dad, this is a cell phone

I threw it on the ground
What you think I'm stupid?
I'm not a part of this system
My dad's not a phone. Duh!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
What you want me to do with this? Eat it?!

Happy birthday to the ground
I threw the rest of the cake too
Welcome to the real world, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground
Like this, and this, and that, and even this
I'm an adult

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph
Ground!
Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!

Then the two phonies got up
Turned out they had a tazer
And they tazed me in the butthole
I fell to the ground
The phonies didn't let up
Tazing on my butthole
Over and over

I was screaming and squirming
My butthole was on fire
The moral of this story is
You can't trust the system, man!