How to be a lady
it's found to be very hard to be a lady
there's so many Ps and Qs you have to mind
but the rewards i guarantee are rich and varied
and will be worth all of the effort, you will mind
your posture must be perfect
and your diction crisp and clear
your speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to ear
your legs crossed when you seat
your toes are pointed so
your pinkies raised while drinking
but that's not all you need to know
you mustn't curse or spit or tattle, never gossip
a lady never scratches, sweats or burps
she knows which knife and fork and spoon and use and when
and if soup is served it's impolite slup
its always "please and thank you, sir or madam"
never bragging you aren't putting in a show
ladies are demure an also proper
and that is really all you need to know
