The Speed Dial
A lady won't always tell you what's on her mind
But if you look close enough you can see the signs
Nights like this got me reminiscing about the time
When Jerry first saw her name on the speed dial
George: So you're on the speed dial?
Jerry: After two dates!
George: What number?
Jerry: 7
George: Wow! You know it's a pain to change that, you've gotta lift up that plastic thing with a pen
[Sample: Notorious B.I.G.]
Girlfriend here's a pen, call me round ten
Come through, have sex on rugs that's Persian
*Repeat x2*
Seven wasn't good enough for Jerry
He had to be number one
So Jerry
He wined her and dined her
Champange and roses
I guess that's just how it's done
I guess that's just how it's done
Oh Jerry
Teach me just how it's done
Valerie: Flowers
You didn't need to do that
I mean the dinner
And the play
And the handsome cab ride
Jerry: Well I just wanted to make sure you forgot the gift certificate from barnes and nobel
You know to make a good impression
Valerie: I'm going to put these in some water
Jerry: I like the way you think
Oh my god, number one!
People get jealous for the strangest reasons
And Jerry Seinfeld was no exception
What!
That's how found himself at her stepmothers place
She was giving him so much affection
Oh Mrs. Hamilton I don't mean no disrespect
But I can't be on two girls dials
I'll just slide you under an emergency button
Ooh I think I like your style
He was still on the speed dial
Still covertly on the speed dial
Jerry still on the speed dial
*repeat*
Jerry: Hello?
Valerie: Who's this?
Jerry: It's Jerry, who's this?
Valerie: *gasp* ? It's Valerie!
Jerry: Oh hi Valerie, what's up?
Valerie: It'll tell you whats up! My stepmother is violently ill, so I hit the button for poison control and I get you
Jerry: Oh wow, poison control, that's even higher than number one!
Jerry still on the speed dial
Still covertly on the speed dial
*repeat until fade out*
