Then you May Take me to the Fair
Sir Lionel!... Do you recall the other night
When I distinctly said you might
Serve as my escort at the next town fair?
Well, I'm afraid there's someone who I must invite in place of you,
Someone who plainly is beyond compare.
That Frenchman's power is more tremendous
Than I have e'er seen anywhere,
And when a man is that stupendous,
He, by right, should take me to the fair.
Your majesty, let me tilt with him and smite him!
Don't refuse me so abruptly, I implore!
Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him
And Gaul will be divided once more!
You'll bash and thrash him?
I'll smash and mash him
You'll give him trouble?
He will be rubble.
A mighty whack?
His skull will crack!
Well...
Then you may take me to the fair,
If you do all the things you promise,
In fact my heart would break
Should you not take me
To the fair.
Sir Sagramore!...
I have some rather painful news
Related to the subject:
Who's to be beside me at the next court ball.
You were the chosen one, I know,
But as tradition, it should go
To the unquestioned champion in the hall.
And I'm convinced that splendid Frenchman
Could easily conquer one and all,
And besting all our local henchmen,
He should sit beside me at the ball.
I beg of you, ma'am, withhold your invitation.
I swear to you, this challenge will be met.
And when I have finished up the operation,
I'll serve him to your highness en brochette.
You'll pierce right through him?
I'll barbecue him.
A wicked thrust?
'Twill be dust to dust.
From fore to aft--
He'll feel a draft!
Well then...
You may sit by me at the ball,
If you demolish him in battle,
In fact, I know I'd cry
Were you not by me
At the ball.
Sir Dinidan!... Didn't I promise that you may
Guide me to London on the day
That I go up to judge the cattle show?
As it is quite a nasty ride,
There must be someone at my side
Who'll be defending me from beast and foe.
So when I choose whom I prefer go,
I take the strongest knight I know.
And young Du Lac seems strongest, ergo
He should take me to the cattle show.
Your majesty can't believe this blust'ring prattle--
Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead!
I promise you, when I've done this Gaul in battle
His shoulders will be lonesome for his head.
You'll disconnect him?
I'll vivisect him.
You'll open-wide him?
I'll subdivide him.
Oh, dear, dear dear dear dear...
Then you may guide me to the show,
If you can carry out your program,
In fact I'd grieve inside
Should you not guide me
To the show.
Milady, we shall put an end to
That Gallic bag of noise and nerve.
When we do all that we intend to,
He'll be a plate of French hors d'ouevres!
I do applaud your noble goals,
Now let us see if you achieve them.
And if you do, then you will be the three
Who will go
To the ball,
To the show,
And take me to the fair
