Call Me Mister
I was christened Heath McNease. That's my birth name - Heath Daniel McNease. But we don't know each other very well; I don't know you, you don't know me, so I don't want you to call me that. I want you to call me mister. I had a dream where thousands of people were on their feet, doves were flying by and they called me mister. Capital m, little r, period.
Call me Mr. Tongue Twister, Mr. Gets along so well with your sister, Mr. Never kiss and tell, but maybe
whisper, Mr. Too quick-witted to quit ripping, even senior citizens are digging it, Mr. My mother still
makes me rinse dishes, most of my lyrics get written in the kitchen, Mr. Misty-eyed, chicks think I'm so
sensitive, Mr. Take a mile and a half from any inch givers, I'm Humpty Dumpty bungee jumping into tons of
money covered in butter and honey, Mr. Do dumb stuff for no good reason, call me Mr. Kinda odd just
looking to call it even
Can you say mister?
I knew you could
Did you say mister?
I knew you would
Why would you call me something other than what I am?
A whole lotta man
I'm not just a hunk of meat, I'm Mr. Tongue in cheek, humble and meek, underneath a stunning physique, I'm
Mr. Heavy duty hairdo, I scare you, cause I'm the very dude you're praying you'll be compared to, please
Lord, let people mistake me for Mr. When he shoots he scores, it's what I'm shooting for, Mr. Man he's so
handsome in uniform, hand him a flugelhorn and he'll jam for you in the morning, and I'm not even sure I'm
sure what a flugelhorn is, but playing it's a talent I was no doubt born with, gifted at everything I've
ever attempted but never intended to be the best in every instant
V-neck and some cargo pants, you're not looking while your girl tries hard to glance but it's your fault
for trying so hard to dance while she's talking with her eyes, "beg your pardon, ma'am?", Mr. Biological
father, your logical role model, call me daddy if you wanna, I prefer big poppa, I love it when you call
me that so say it again, I love it when you say it again so say it again, Mr. Never litter, inventor,
never surrender, Mr. Winner, check your chinner and guess who's visiting for dinner, Mr. Better than a
beginner, resembling a figure kinda like a stick only thinner, plus my head is bigger, limited attention
span, I wear tights and a mask and drive a minivan and call myself Ritalin Man, Mr. I'm my biggest fan,
I'm not kidding man, I gave myself an autograph and fainted like an Elvis fan