Drowning

Jay Brannan

It's four a.m. again
Father forgive me this sin
Uncomfortable in this life, yeah
I can't put down this knife, yeah
I'm carving words in my arm, baby
Hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe
I need the touch of a hand
This isn't what I had planned

I need relief from this life
I wanna slip away into the night
Don't wanna see the sun again
But can't get swallowed up
By this tragic whirlwind
I wish the ocean was warm
I feel like drowning

I'm losing my faith in me
I can't remember the last time I felt free
From voices inside my head
When I taste liberation, they just feed me fear instead

You say I'm out of control
At least i still have a soul
No, I don't need your advice
Some compassion would be nice

I need relief from this life
I wanna slip away into the night
Don't wanna see the sun again
But can't get swallowed up
By this tragic whirlwind
I wish the ocean was warm
I feel like drowning

I can't take any more of your pills
They hold my head up
But still it feels so wrong
I can't believe the price that I've paid
For this chemically-induced, perceivably ideal
Take-it-with-a-glass-of-water day

I need relief from this life
I wanna slip away into the night
Don't wanna see the sun again
But can't get swallowed up
By this tragic whirlwind
I wish the ocean was warm
I feel like drowning