In An Hour Darkly

Sopor Aeternus

In einer dunklen Stunde, ach
Aalle Stunden sind dunkel hier
Aus einem Becher von zartestem Flieder
Trinken wir Tee allein mit mir

My name is Broken Chalice
And leaden I am filled
All the way up to the brim
Filled with sadness
And with misery
And the most terrible of things
Very soon I might overflow I fear
As I am filled with so much anger
And far too many tears

These words come from the depth of my discontent to testify to you of the displeasure that I harbour against the world and therefore myself. Hush, here lies truth, sweet child, in all its obvious simplicity. A long time ago, it seems the boy has come to an agreement with himself to remain in this wretched life for as long as it hasn reached the point of becoming totally unbearable. Yes, he was prepared to tolerate the bleakness of all things, of darkness, even nothingness itself, all of this perhaps only to prove that life really isn worth an effort, that an early voluntary death is absolutely always justified

Yes, I do confess
I have a secret wish
I often dream of dying
To dissolve completely
To simply vanish
So that nothing
Not a single grain
Would ever remain of me
No spark, no energy
No further existence for me
But most of all: no rebirth
Alas, if I had this chance
This possibility
How free from worries could I be
If I only had this one guarantee
That there would be no more tomorrows
Lying in wait for me