Loudon Wainwright III

I Wish I Was a Lesbian

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I wish i was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!
I wish i were a lesbian and not a hetero!

I wish i was a lesbian and that i wasn't straight.
I'd sleep with women only. man, it would be great.
I'd throw away my diaphragm, i wouldn't want to mate.
I wish i was a lesbian, and that i wasn't straight!

I wish i were a lesbian, i'd like to be a dyke.
I'd sleep with k.d. lang. mel gibson, take a hike!
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
I wish i was a lesbian, i'd like to be a dyke!

I wish i was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung.
Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
I wish i was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!

I dare casey kasem to play this!

I wish i was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo
(i hate that machis'mo!)
I wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero.

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