Little Butterball

Allan Sherman

I'm called Little Butterball,
Dear Little Butterball,
Though I could never tell why
My calories mount
My cholesterol count
Is as high as an elephant's eye

They told me to diet
I promised I'd try it,
Yet somehow my weight would not budge
Each Metrecal cookie
To me tasted cookie,
So I covered it with hot fudge

I ate watercresses,
And other such messes,
And pushed all my favorites aside
I said to the caterers,
"No more mashed potaterers,
Just baked, and hash browned, and french fried"

I sing this sad song
'Cause my diet went wrong,
Though I honestly tried to pay heed
I don't care how high
Is an elephant's eye,
But an elephant's rear I don't need!