Welcome to the Club
Wavin' at the plane 
There goes everything you own 
You called home collect 
And they didn't know your name 
Starin' at the telephone 
You thought he was a doctor 
Now he says he's not 
But the noices seem to tell for sure 
And according to the symptoms 
It isn't all you got 
A shame they haven't found a cure 
Didn't know the reason 
You start to feel the rub 
You know it isn't easy 
Well, welcome to the club 
Well, you thought they'd take it lightly 
They're actin' kinda rash 
Caught you in a loadin' zone 
So they smile very politely 
Relieved you of your cash 
Suddenly you're all alone 
You play the double agent 
You bug each other's phone 
You got the place surrounded 
There ain't nobody home 
It's gettin' hard to please 'em 
You start to feel the rub 
You know it isn't easy 
Well, welcome to the club 
Come on and join us in the club
Autor(es): DEAN COLLINSON, MICK WALSH