Bum Biddy
Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey either through basketball or the mall or various odd jobs 
he does around town for free or at most a dollar! 
And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's face or ruthlessly made fun of his feet or sister or shortness 
when he wasn't looking! 
But the next time you'd see him he'd still go out of his way to smile and wave at you and ask about your mother's operation 
or something like that because he unlike us actually cares about someone other than himself! 
The reason I bring this up to you, 
Is because I was the worst offender of all. 
My life was simply going nowhere 
Then a tiny little man rushed to my side 
He should've gotten a big thank you 
Instead he got a porta-potti ride. 
I was such a shithead 
But he'd never quit on me 
Til' I told him he was useless 
And his sister was freaky. 
Once when we were watching Sunday football 
A fuzzy screen was all that we could see 
Whitey came over with a hanger 
And spent the game on top of our TV, 
And when the lightning struck him 
He let out a wicked loud yell 
But we just turned up the volume 
And ignored the burning smell 
We should all rot in Hell! 
I went to High School with Whitey 
As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom 
When he got there I said I can't beleive you though I was serious 
So he ran home crying and slow danced with his mom! 
What a crushing blow to Whitey 
I bet you wish you could take it back 
How could yo all be so mean to Whitey 
Seems to me like you are all on crack! 
Tonight Whitey was counting on this town 
To show that we care 
But the first time he really needed us 
We weren't there! 
And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Chanukah! 
It's just not fair! 
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, I wonder 
iftat guyever wiped his ass with the wrong hand! yes. 
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, 
bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum, bumbiddy biddy biddy bum bum, bum biddy biddy biddy bum!
Autor(es): Adam Sandler / Allen Covert / Brad Isaacs / Brooks Arthur / Robert Smigel