First of May
I had a scone and a large house blend 
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends 
I said I'm sick and tired of winter 
And I wish that it was spring 
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast 
Began to sing 
And he sang 
Oh oh child, what'd you think the cold winter's gonna last forever? 
Oh oh child, now's the time for all the people to get together 
Outside 
'Cause it's the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor fucking starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside 
I thanked him for the information 
I cried a little when he flew away 
I watched an episode of The People's Court 
And I tried to plan my day 
I called up my old lady 
She wasn't home so I called my girl 
I asked her if she'd like to join me as I 
Entertain the world 
And I said 
Oh oh child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off 
Oh oh child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off 
Outside 
'Cause it's the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor fucking starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside 
So we went to the park together 
We were walking in the midday sun 
We met all kinds of people and we 
We fucked everyone 
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream 
We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei 
Everyone who needed fucking well they 
They got fucked today 
So come on 
Oh oh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you 
Oh oh child, you'll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you 
Outside 
'Cause it's the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor fucking starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
Autor(es): Jonathan Coulton