Bob Schneider

Everybody's Fucking Everybody

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Angie's fucking David and David's fucking Joe
And Joe's fucking everybody and nobody knows
And Lisa and Linda are fucking Reggie and Tom
But Tom went to the clinic and they dropped the bomb
And Lonnie fucking Angel who's just thirteen
But Lonnie doesn't care if you know what I mean
And Michael's with Maxine who's sometimes with Ron
And everybody's fucking my best friend's mom

And everybody's fucking everybody's fucking everybody
Everybody's fucking everybody's fucking everybody

And Leslie's fucking Adam
When she gets the chance
And I've got a whole lot
Of love in my pants
And who was fucking Mary
Cause she was fucking Leroy Brown
Who was fucking every hooker
That that motherfucker found
And Larry got the crabs
But he didn't get the clap
But Virginia's in the clinic
For a mandatory pap
And Sean's fucking Patty
Who's on everybody's dick
And she's a real nice girl
But her minds a little sick
And Dan's fucking Sarah
Who was fucking Teddy Willis
Who was sucking off the landlord
So she didn't have to pay her bills
And Stanley works the corner
And he's in a lot of pain
But he's fucking every john he can
To buy his heroin
And your wife'll fuck the postman
And she will not give a damn
If you're out busting your ass
Trying to bring home the ham
And disease and moral fortitude
They will not stem the tide
And you cannot keep your daughter home
Forever though you've tried
We're not plants we're animals
And instincts rule our nation
And you cannot live forever
On fantasies and masturbation
So we fuck and fornicate
Until the mother ship returns
And takes us to another world
Where passion doesn't burn

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