I Hate Mario Kart Wii
I feel so confident right now
As my friends all ask me how they throw an item or utilise the drift
My character of choice is Yoshi
He can be good off-road but mostly I play him cos hes cute, Ill admit
The race starts
and I stalled!
I stalled the car again
I held A down a bit too early
And all my mates are laughing as they drive right past me
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
And now Im stuck in 12th place
Im gonna lose this race; trailing in Donkey Kongs tyre tracks
So I get a power-up
I dont expect too much, but oh my god, Bullet Bill now Im back!
In first place in no time
And my mates cant see why Nintendo would make a game thats so unfair
Theyre feeling pretty angry, but Im just princess peachy
Im winning so I dont really care
But someone gets a blue shell!
And I crash
The kart flips over again
Why dont they put a wall there!?
Nothing I could do but watch it roll into the sea
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
Im still in the lead
But theyre catching up to me
Ill get a power-up and Ill be fine
Another banana skin
Upside-down boxes wearing thin
I think I had more fun when I was behind
This is the only game Ive played
Where winning just feels lame
And losing is where all the fun takes place
And there are no red shells for me
All I have is apathy for this never-ending, three-lap funless race
The game ends AND IM SECOND!
I lost the race again
How did he get Invincibility!?
Fucking Waluigi stole my victory
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
Everybody sing!
