The medicine

Bernat Metge was in prison,
it was his third imprisonment
and to while away the time
he decided to make some prescriptions
of great value. It was the year of our Lord
thirteen hundred and ninety-seven or eight,
when he wrote this "medecine"
which is good for curing nothing at all.
"Medecine" made by Bernat
Metge suitable for all ailments.

You take a starling's yawn
and two ounces of besturri
mixed with a little gingurri
and two coins of baquiqueu.
If you want to have an "I love you"
the mixture would be worth more;
and then take a handful
of the smoke from wet straw,
but make sure that at all times
Ganet is present;
and take it to a clean place,
covered with a tarararat;
and then make it into powder
and put it through a fine sieve!
And if you mix in arriboras,
you'll find it has a better taste.
Shoots of muscatel mix in it,
and half a good baldufai
and some of Mardufai's hairs
and Gideon's molars;
and some of Absalom's beard,
mix together, with a piss;
and if you can find David's tears
don't be afraid of the price.
And, then, take two turds
that are well dried by the sun.
If master Bernat Oriol
wants to lend you the white robe,
at once your person will be
sound and free of all pain;
and if master Germà gives you
a piece of the yellow robe,
chop it all up before it rains
with the things already said,
which must be all put together;
and then the prescription is ready,
and I know of no other in all the world
which could make your ills disappear.