Glitter man
Once there was this man
who woke up one night
He found his purpose in life
in the early morning light
He decided to do things
a bit differently
He wanted to be far from ordinary
He had a bunch of friends
but they were pretty plain
And he sort of looked the same
He said 'this isn't who I want to be'
so bring me Mrs. Westwood
Make me shine
like I should
Chorus
Make me shiny
make me new
Make me look unlike all the others so
make it unforgettable
Make it unregrettable
make me fitter
make me glitter man
Now he felt like the man
and though he hadn't expected it
They called him 'woman'
and he felt less and less respected
Being a so-and-so
in this century
Means being a no-no
but he's got a personality
So in ruffles, fur
suede shoes and leather
He's catching eyes for sure
and the more the better
Chorus
He's not like Jamie
not like Ben
He's not like Scotty, Joe or Stan
he's not like Harry
Not like Manfred
not like Gareth
Not like Earl
he's not like Scott or Glenn Oak's
He's not like all them other blokes
Chorus
He said 'at least I'm not like Madelin
she's got a Golden Retriever and a Volkswagen!'