Strenuous Acquaintances
I take my baby to the cornfield 
I lay him down between the rows 
I ask him if he really loves me 
He tells me only heaven knows 
If I owned a TV station 
This is the message I would send: 
A hundred strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend 
Give me his old Montana jacket 
His favorite shirt is Panama 
And I can tell you where he's buried 
Tell you the last thing that he saw, saw... 
I am the keeper of your fetish 
There is so much that you don't know 
You're gonna drown in your own bathtub 
You're gonna miss me when I go 
If I owned that big transmitter 
This is the message I would send: 
A hundred strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend 
And on the mornings after parties 
I pick the bottles from the floor 
I open every single window 
I cough until my ribs are sore 
Callin' out to all you vampires, 
"I got molasses in my veins! 
I think it's time I should be leavin' 
And you can fight for my remains!" 
For every word on every paper 
For every dollar you will spend 
A strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend 
The loss of one true friend
Writer/s: Joan Osborne